I wish I could explain myself, but words escape me

“I’m so lost
I’m barely here
I wish I could explain myself
But words escape me”

This song has always meant something to me. Just recently it’s started to really dig in.  What am I talking about here in these lyrics? LIFE! I am talking about life. Life in general where the fuck did you go? Why am I not doing anything to get you back? Why am I conforming like my friends and family are? Why am I adhering to what you are suppose to be doing? Like WHAT THE FUCK am I doing? Why am I working an 8-5 (salary) job. Granite I get 6 weeks of vacation, however I never use it to its full potential. I am here to question most of what I do…please read along.

I graduated from College 2 years ago. I gracefully landed a great job close to home shortly after graduating.  This job has been nothing short of amazing.  I have learned many things. I have learned what it takes to work in an environment where there isn’t enough help to provide with what you need.  Not only here but in my previous job as well.  Anywhoozer I am not here to talk about jobs.  I am here to talk about what you/we do while not at our jobs? Better yet how possible is it to not even hold a job? It scares people, it scares people to think what they’d be doing if they didn’t have a job. WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Would you die? Would the end of the world take place the minute you decided you were done working for your life?

We are just victims of society. I’d like to add that I may very well be the biggest hypocrite for creating this blog as well.  What separates myself and you is the ideas I withhold.  I consider myself an idealist. An idealist that doesn’t act on his ideas unless its for the better good of society.  I need to start thinking of myself though in these cases.  If we all started focusing on what truly brings us happiness I think we’d see a lot of upset individuals in the world.  Individuals that relied too heavy on others for their source of happiness. That’s what I don’t understand. It isn’t very hard to do what you want to remain happy and still juggle a relationship.  Some of my “friends” think it’s impossible to do anything but be up their wife/girl friends ass 24/7.  I am truly sorry for you individuals.  Then again that’s the life they’ve chosen so who am I to judge?   It’s sort of fucked up the individualist of the world are made to think that there is something wrong with them. We sit in the shadows silently shunned by those doing what they’ve been told to do, what they’ve been brought up to do.  If someone doesn’t fit the societal machine people start pointing fingers.  I’ve personally have had enough of this.  Like I don’t get it…where did people ever think they can start telling others what “normal” is and what it isn’t? I am not here to say other wise, but to question why people care so much about why other’s aren’t doing the same thing they are.  We aren’t weird, we don’t have a foreign DNA (Deoxyribonucleic Acid), we aren’t seeking anything more than you are. We just want to be happy and get the same amount of credit for doing so.

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Remember these are the words of me, the words of I, and the words of everything I previously have known.


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