THIS POST IS FROM AN ANONYMOUS WRITER!
This has been on my mind lately. I am currently single for all intensive purposes. I am not in a committed relationship, engaged, or married. I am in the dating world. I do not like to date. I don’t even like the premise or idea behind it.
For me, dating has one purpose to find “the one.” I truly have been through a lot in my life and I am ready to settle down for good. I want to find that last date. I want to date the last person forever. I am not into flings, one night stands, hook ups or the like. I am not against sex, it is great. But there is so much more to a relationship than physical affection. Say you enter a relationship because the sex is awesome. What happens when (when NOT if) that starts to suck? What are you left with? NOTHING! You have to build a relationship and find attraction in your significant other in so many ways, on many different levels.
Dating is a means to an end. The ultimate end is marriage. I am not into dating 100 women 1 time. I want to date that 1 woman 100 times, and many more! I want to fall in love with her time and time again. This is where I draw the line on dating. I don’t want to date to find another person to spend more money on. I want to date to spend life with someone.
I am not trying to gloat, just tell the facts. Too many times I hear how great a gentleman I am. I was raised to respect people and possessions and that is how I treat all people, including women, especially someone I am interested in. I don’t have this goal of getting into your pants at the first chance I get. I have a goal of winning your heart and that is located a little higher. I want that person whom I can call a true friend, possibly a best friend, hopefully the one I share my most intimate secrets with. The only one who will possible know more is my true best friend and that relationship spans 20 years and counting. Why does it seem like I feel sorry and disgusted at the sound that I am “one of a kind?” I only think I am pretty normal. But the norm now has gone way wrong. Maybe I am one of a kind! Women of the world, watch out!
I still find enjoyment in opening doors for ladies and plenty of chivalrous stuff. I am on a couple dating sites but I refuse to pay to meet someone. So far, only two [dating sites] have panned out for me for any real dates; Tinder and Plenty of Fish (POF). I constantly hear that all they (they ladies I go on dates with) hear is how awesome the guys think they are and topless gym selfies or bathroom selfies. They want to instantly trade dirty pics and the ultimate goal of getting to bed as quick as possible. All the while their profile intentions are to find a relationship. I think they have it all wrong. I don’t think they will find what they are looking for. True, they may find someone and they may end up dating but I feel sorry for that girl if that’s the kind of guy she is willing to settle down with. I do not believe I am a gem, just unique. A good unique. I want to find someone who appreciates my uniqueness.
I went on a 3rd date with a gal recently and am starting to really like her. I have a past of falling too quickly and getting hurt very badly so I am taking this one slow. I didn’t even reach for her hand or even try for a kiss until the end of the 3rd date. That initial kiss is really something, isn’t it? So fearful but once it happens, and it’s good, man, it is a good feeling. Why is that first kiss such a daunting task? We even texted about it after the 2nd date and she asked me why I hadn’t tried yet. I don’t mind asking or answering most awkward questions so I told her I am a bit shy at first in that department. I am a very physical person and love to be close to somebody I care about, it’s just that initial move that bewilders me. Other guys aren’t like that and will go for it right off. I know that there are A LOT of emotional synapses and chemistry behind a kiss and once again once you make a good connection it can be really awesome. After that first kiss I kissed her 4 or 5 other times that night and it was awesome and the initial nerves were gone.
All in all, I feel I have to apologize to all the women out there who are single and truly looking for that next good boyfriend because if you are into online dating the good fish are slim pickens. I wish it weren’t so.
One more thought. What happened to actually going on a date. Why does it take so much effort in today’s online dating community to get a physical date with someone? Are there that many bad guys out there that you are scared to meet some guy who is interested in you and you in them? Go to a public place, drive yourself and if you don’t like it politely excuse yourself. Take a leap of faith in people! I spend so much energy in trying to get a girl to go out it’s almost painful. Who knows maybe this current girl will be the last one I have to worry about for a while? Things seem to be going in a positive direction. She is intrigued by me and visa versa. I am interested in seeing where it goes. I have cut all other ties and communication with other girls for now to focus on this one. Here goes something new, maybe..